Why Won’t You Help Tao Lin!??!
Wednesday, March 12th by Shane
That’s where he lives
Tao Lin may see a few bucks here and there, and maybe he once got to second base with Miranda July, but he still needs more money and wouldn’t it be nice if he made out with someone like… I don’t know, maybe an actress or model or model turned actress. That’s why he himself has provided tips on how to help his career. Amazon and Wikipedia are both useful to lavish praise, and there’s something about getting hired by The New Yorker, but I think unsubstantiated rumors like how he once did acid with Hunter S. Thompson and then the next day Thompson killed himself would really kick start his career.
Nicholson Baker looks like a lawn gnome, but that hasn’t kept Ed’s roundtable and the NY Times from still talking about his new WW II book Human Smoke. There is a lot of heated conversation over at Ed’s and the Times hates it, so your own conclusions may be necessary. And just so you know, Baker says that the US should have never entered the war.
What books have you stolen? The Guardian has a lot of people confessing. Why won’t you confess? How much more begging do I have to do before you’ll leave a damn comment?
And finally, via The Elegant Variation, one hundred spoiled endings. Not really spoiled, I suppose, but it’s a list of the hundred greatest last book lines. I’m trying to keep myself away from this because there are too many books on here I haven’t read, but my curiosity got the best of me, which just ruined the last line of The Crying of Lot 49. Glad I only had thirty pages to go.
March 12th, 2008 at 3:13 pm
Stolen book confessions: Do comic books count? I pinched a copy of Master of Kung Fu #17 from my cousin many moons ago. And I’m not feeling guilty about it. He didn’t deserve to have such a flippin’-sweet issue.
March 12th, 2008 at 4:26 pm
I have left a number of cities without returning library books…a weenie sort of theft. I still fear a visit from Bookman, the Library Cop on Seinfeld. (Sadly, no clip available):
Bookman: Well let me tell you something, funny boy. You know that little stamp that says New York Public Library? Well that may not mean anything to you but that means a lot to me, one whole hell of a lot. Sure, go ahead, laugh if you want to. I’ve seen your type before, flashy, makin’ the scene, flaunting convention. Yeah, I know what you’re thinking: “What’s this guy making such a big stink about old library books?” Well let me give you a hint, junior. Maybe we can live without libraries, people like you and me. Maybe. Sure, we’re too old to change the world. But what about that kid, sitting down opening a book, right now, in a branch of the local library, and finding drawings of pee-pees and wee-wees in The Cat in the Hat and The Five Chinese Brothers. Doesn’t he deserve better? Look, if you think this is about overdue fines and missing books, you better think again. This is about that kid’s right to read a book without getting his mind warped. Or, maybe that turns you on, Seinfeld. Maybe that’s how you get your kicks, you and your good-time buddies. Well I got a flash for you, joy-boy: Party time is over. You got seven days, Seinfeld. That is one week.